Gorilla Trek: or Wildest Africa, 9 concerns of a drama queen.

Jambo, hello, greetings everyone.

We might not see gorillas. We should, but it is not guaranteed.

There is also the possibility that something “wildest Africa like” could happen to me before day 7 which is when we are due to hike to the gorillas.

All the focus is on the gorillas, but cute as they are ( and huge with large muscles and teeth! just saying) they only feature on 2 days out of the 14 that we will be travelling through Kenya and Uganda.

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“Wildest Afrika like” things that could happen.  Remember, my inner drama queen!

1. I could get lost in Nairobi and miss the Nomad truck I am supposed to be on for 14 days. Game over! My sense of direction is shocking. This is highly embarrassing when you are a maker of maps. #Genetically flawed.

2. I could become lunch to a wild animal in the Masaai Mara Reserve. The Great Migration of just under 2 million wildebeest, gazelles and zebras occurs between July and October. Stragglers could be stampeding past in February don’t you think. The old, the lame and the ones with a poor sense of direction perhaps?

3. Following them hungrily, smacking their lips are lions and hyena. Hippopotami, black rhino and cheetahs also hang out here, always on the lookout for a stray snack. I could be that snack!

4.  Then we go Game viewing on a bicycle, come on, how safe can that be. I doubt I could out pedal a cheetah.

5.I could fall in to a “long drop” and die from the sheer horror of it. My bladder, a bit like my mind, is weak. I am told the loos in Africa are not always sweet smelling, modern or delightful.

6. I could get Malaria. I will be taking anti malaria tablets and smothering myself in Tabbard, but you never know. A new strain of ragged toothed mosquitoes, a dud batch of Doxycycline?

7. The car flipping elephants from the Kruger National Park could have ninja cousins in Uganda who toss Nomad trucks around on slow days. That would not be fun. (then again I doubt that Nomad guides would be silly if an elephant was around. Respect the animals folks, we are in their ‘hood.)

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8. The Somali pirates could have decided that the high seas are too dangerous, and start hanging out in East African lakes. “Harr me hearties, I see a flock of tourists! Blow up the pirate rubber duck and load your water pistols. Look mean”

9. Water. I could forget to buy enough bottled water and either risk dehydration and lizard breath, or take a chance and clean my teeth with tap water and run the risk of acute gyppo guts. Actually this could be a good thing. I’m thinking extreme weight loss via involuntary regurgitation.  Africa as a diet? Could be the next big thing?

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As usual, my imagination has run roughshod over my common sense. None of the above will happen if I am just sensible.. and there lies the risk!

Tutaonana, see you.

Gorilla photo & truck pic thanks to Nomad Tours.

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One thought on “Gorilla Trek: or Wildest Africa, 9 concerns of a drama queen.

  1. Pingback: Gorilla Trek. Confessions and Adventures of a drama queen | The Roaming Giraffe

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